Closed for Repair

For the second day in a row, when I took my walk, I felt distant as I approached, stood in front of and walked by the trees. Even the one I call the love tree!

Today, I stood there a little longer in silence and considered what might be going on with me. I thought about the fact that I'd been quite prickly this week and had not felt well. And coincidently, I'd done some major healing work on an old childhood wound just this past Saturday. Hmm. Maybe not such a coinkidink, after all.

A few minutes went by and I began to perceive an energy barrier between me and the trees. I pictured my heart opening, which seemed like a way to tell myself that currently it was closed. Perhaps it has been closed for repair. And maybe that's what that energy barrier was all about.

My son was clingy for a couple of days this week. They are incredibly sensitive to what happens with us. I had thought it was because he didn't feel well, and indeed, we've both been under the weather. But perhaps we've both been clearing. Releasing.

I believe that when you heal, you heal backwards, forwards and sideways, so he would have benefited from the work I did, too.

I think that explains a lot of what we've been experiencing! I just didn't recognize it. Once you start healing, nothing ever presents itself clearly, even on exit, because it doesn't look the same.

Well, anyway, I suppose I'll stop writing and go do some active clearing!

Release of Rejection

Something unusual happened today. I was taking a walk with my son, across the dirt and under the trees, and when we got to the one we think of as the "love" tree, I didn't feel much love. I didn't feel much of anything!

Now, I've not been feeling well these past few days. But taking a walk outside almost always makes me feel better!

I realized that I was feeling sad and began to wonder why. Watching the Oscars made me sad, again, about Heath, but I was aware that that wasn't it, there was more. So I just let myself be and finished the walk. It wasn't until I was back inside that I remembered something that happened recently, an exchange with a friend that hurt my feelings and made me feel rejected!

It hadn't occurred to me when it happened that I would need to heal it, but apparently I did. So I began to work on healing it and several other incidences that have occurred in the past few months came to mind and I realized that they were presenting themselves for healing, too.

In about 15 minutes, I had healed the rejection, infused forgiveness and created the ability to connect again fully with the people who had hurt me (I did this using reiki and the Healing Codes). When I was done, that's when I realized something I think is rather important. I am used to thinking that trauma or really upsetting events lead to closing the heart. But today I realized it may happen far more frequently than that.

Each time we are rejected or hurt we react by closing the doors of our hearts. I'm sure it's an attempt to protect ourselves from being hurt again. But what that does is keep out the love that's in the air around us. From our husbands and wives, from our children, from our friends. From God or the universe. Love is all around, as the Mary Tyler Moore theme goes. But our ability to perceive it, to feel it, will be compromised to some degree, at least temporarily, if we have unhealed wounds, even small ones.