What have you seen/ heard this week that was a :
1. Sign of hope?
My wife was in terrible pain earlier in the week (toothache)! For a few days in a row, I used distant healing to help her and it worked. And quickly!
2. An unexpected word of light in a dark place?
I posted yesterday about the feelings my aunt expressed about my marriage. The word of light came from my mom, not only to my aunt, but to me, as she recounted their conversation.
3. A sign of spring?
Flowers are beginning to bloom all over the place! I think what I wait for is the spring green that decorates the trees, but the flowers foreshadow it, so I know it's coming.
4. Challenging/ surprising?
The vehemence of my aunt's objection to my sexuality and my marriage and her stated wish "not to be confronted with it." Though she didn't say it to me, I'm sure she knew I would hear about it, so I think hers is the most negative response I've gotten--unless you count the two-year silence from one of my friends after I came out to her.
5. Share a hope for the coming week/month/year....
Well, if you've been following along, you might know where I'm headed here ... my hope is to be at peace about my aunt's feelings. Even if I don't go to the family reunion, I am still carrying her words in my energy field and need to release that energy.
Bonus play... a piece of music/ poem guaranteed to cheer you? :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lmH61C8cmG8
Friday, March 7, 2008
Thursday, March 6, 2008
The Family Reunion
Sigh. I may have to give this next family reunion a miss!
I have several aunts on my mother's side. The sisters are very close; they visit each other several times a year and talk on the phone at least once a week (I think). They sometimes function as a unit. It's certainly true for me and I imagine true for my cousins, as well: when making big decisions, I occasionally imagine the news traveling by grapevine from one sister to another and consider the possible reactions of each.
So when I came out to my mother, I wondered what her sisters' reactions would be!
A year has gone by and one of my aunts called my mother to express her disapproval and strong feelings about my marriage to Shelly. As my mother recounts it, she doesn't like it, doesn't agree with it and doesn't want to be confronted with it.
When I was growing up, my mother sometimes valued keeping the peace more than she valued standing up for me. But this time, she did! She told her sister that she did not agree and was happy for me because I was happy in a way that I had not been before. She talked about spending time with and liking Shelly. And concluded that they would just have to agree to disagree!
I'm really grateful to have my mother's support!
And disheartened by my aunt's reaction.
I will be giving it some thought, but I don't know that I want to go to the family reunion given the way she feels.
I have several aunts on my mother's side. The sisters are very close; they visit each other several times a year and talk on the phone at least once a week (I think). They sometimes function as a unit. It's certainly true for me and I imagine true for my cousins, as well: when making big decisions, I occasionally imagine the news traveling by grapevine from one sister to another and consider the possible reactions of each.
So when I came out to my mother, I wondered what her sisters' reactions would be!
A year has gone by and one of my aunts called my mother to express her disapproval and strong feelings about my marriage to Shelly. As my mother recounts it, she doesn't like it, doesn't agree with it and doesn't want to be confronted with it.
When I was growing up, my mother sometimes valued keeping the peace more than she valued standing up for me. But this time, she did! She told her sister that she did not agree and was happy for me because I was happy in a way that I had not been before. She talked about spending time with and liking Shelly. And concluded that they would just have to agree to disagree!
I'm really grateful to have my mother's support!
And disheartened by my aunt's reaction.
I will be giving it some thought, but I don't know that I want to go to the family reunion given the way she feels.
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Losing a Family Friend
Several things have kept me from posting this week!
Monday was my sister's birthday and I ended up getting stranded at my mother's house when my car broke down. My son and I didn't get back home until after all the celebrating was over. And then, yesterday, we found out that my mother's dog had died!
Jonathan was quite upset about that and we spent much of the day processing those feelings.
What's interesting is that Mickey (the dog) seems to have died of a broken heart. Another dog disappeared recently from the backyard where he usually barked quite happily at Mickey, and Mickey began to "bay at the moon" according to my mother. Then, she hardly wanted to eat, picking at the food my mother brought to her. Less than a week later, she died.
And Jonathan had been told about what was happening and he was the one who intuited that she was sad about Sunny 2's death. He told me yesterday that he also had a feeling Mickey would die, so he told her goodbye a few days ago. My mother did, too.
Jonathan has decided that Mickey and Sunny 2 are playing happily together in heaven.
Monday was my sister's birthday and I ended up getting stranded at my mother's house when my car broke down. My son and I didn't get back home until after all the celebrating was over. And then, yesterday, we found out that my mother's dog had died!
Jonathan was quite upset about that and we spent much of the day processing those feelings.
What's interesting is that Mickey (the dog) seems to have died of a broken heart. Another dog disappeared recently from the backyard where he usually barked quite happily at Mickey, and Mickey began to "bay at the moon" according to my mother. Then, she hardly wanted to eat, picking at the food my mother brought to her. Less than a week later, she died.
And Jonathan had been told about what was happening and he was the one who intuited that she was sad about Sunny 2's death. He told me yesterday that he also had a feeling Mickey would die, so he told her goodbye a few days ago. My mother did, too.
Jonathan has decided that Mickey and Sunny 2 are playing happily together in heaven.
Saturday, March 1, 2008
A New Earth, by Eckhart Tolle
I invite you to join Oprah and myself in our weekly online sessions.
We will be studying A New Earth
, but not as an academic subject or in order to acquire new theories or beliefs. Our aim is to explore through the teachings of the book the most important question you can ask: What is the purpose of my life and how do I fulfill that purpose?
It will be a course in self-exploration and awakening. It will help you see what the dysfunctional patterns are within yourself that create unnecessary conflict and suffering and prevent you from finding true fulfillment. Hopefully, it will also help you access a dimension within yourself that perhaps you didn't know existed or only caught glimpses of on rare occasions.
Don't be trapped for the rest of your life within the narrow confines of your personal history and your conditioned personality and allow your life to be transformed from within, through the power of consciousness itself. —Eckhart Tolle
I'm really excited about both the book and the class!
http://www.oprah.com/
We will be studying A New Earth
, but not as an academic subject or in order to acquire new theories or beliefs. Our aim is to explore through the teachings of the book the most important question you can ask: What is the purpose of my life and how do I fulfill that purpose?It will be a course in self-exploration and awakening. It will help you see what the dysfunctional patterns are within yourself that create unnecessary conflict and suffering and prevent you from finding true fulfillment. Hopefully, it will also help you access a dimension within yourself that perhaps you didn't know existed or only caught glimpses of on rare occasions.
Don't be trapped for the rest of your life within the narrow confines of your personal history and your conditioned personality and allow your life to be transformed from within, through the power of consciousness itself. —Eckhart Tolle
I'm really excited about both the book and the class!
http://www.oprah.com/
Friday, February 29, 2008
A Leap Day "Friday Five"
From WillsMama and Songbird at RevGalBlogPals...
Tell us about a time you:
1. Leapt before you looked
I can think of many examples of that one!...
(a) Becoming a Christian for "fire insurance" right after I turned 16. Though I am still a Christian, I shake my head at some of the propaganda that passed for absolute truth in those days!
(b) Having a fling with my best friend in junior high. She initiated it. I shrugged my shoulders and went along.
(c) After being laid off from my job as a family counselor, unemployed for months, I was offered two jobs. The one I took changed my life! And I certainly had no idea what I was getting into when I took it!
2. Leapt to a conclusion
I have done that more than a few times with my son, who is 7 years old. Sometimes his intentions are more innocent than I thought. And sometimes, they are not!
3. Took a Leap of Faith
In November, 2007, my sweetheart and I were legally married in Toronto. She still lives in Canada and I live here in the U.S. We don't know yet when we will be able to live in the same country, but we decided to trust that one day we will.
4. Took a literal Leap
*No interesting stories here! Cheerfully leaps over this question :)*
5. And finally, what might you be faced with leaping in the coming year?
I am in the process of building my healing practice and I think the main thing I need to leap over is me and my limited beliefs about what is possible.
*practices making small Superheroine leaps on the way to making bigger ones*
Tell us about a time you:
1. Leapt before you looked
I can think of many examples of that one!...
(a) Becoming a Christian for "fire insurance" right after I turned 16. Though I am still a Christian, I shake my head at some of the propaganda that passed for absolute truth in those days!
(b) Having a fling with my best friend in junior high. She initiated it. I shrugged my shoulders and went along.
(c) After being laid off from my job as a family counselor, unemployed for months, I was offered two jobs. The one I took changed my life! And I certainly had no idea what I was getting into when I took it!
2. Leapt to a conclusion
I have done that more than a few times with my son, who is 7 years old. Sometimes his intentions are more innocent than I thought. And sometimes, they are not!
3. Took a Leap of Faith
In November, 2007, my sweetheart and I were legally married in Toronto. She still lives in Canada and I live here in the U.S. We don't know yet when we will be able to live in the same country, but we decided to trust that one day we will.
4. Took a literal Leap
*No interesting stories here! Cheerfully leaps over this question :)*
5. And finally, what might you be faced with leaping in the coming year?
I am in the process of building my healing practice and I think the main thing I need to leap over is me and my limited beliefs about what is possible.
*practices making small Superheroine leaps on the way to making bigger ones*
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
The Bible: A Miracle in Spite of Itself
Tonight I went to Wednesday night supper at my church and then, had the Lenten Bible study with our pastor while the kids went to youth choir and youth group. The passage we talked about was Exodus 17.
It became apparent, through our discussion, that the "miracle" that occurred was more likely an incident where Moses went off to be alone for a bit, grumbled a little to God about the people he was travelling with and their complaints about being thirsty, and then, suddenly remembered a way to get water. Striking the stick against the rock to get water was something he would have known to do because he had been a shepherd.
It reminds me of what sometimes happens when I have misplaced something and I finally get exasperated enough to ask God where it is. Suddenly, I think of a place I hadn't looked and lo and behold, there it is!
I got several things out of tonight's Bible study...
1) When there are troubles, the best thing to do is find a way to be alone for a while and talk to God about it.
2) The answers are within and if we get quiet enough to hear God's voice inside, we;ll get them.
3) The "greats" in the Bible are likely to have heard from God exactly the way we do today.
4) Objects in the mirror may be closer than they appear (things may not have happened precisely as described). As Marcus Borg says, I take the Bible seriously but not literally!
5) Given that the Bible we read today was written by humans (all of them men), all of them influenced by their culture, who likely made mistakes and may even have created a few accounts here and there, the miracle of inspiration is that there is a message of continuity that survived all that. We see a God of love and mercy who created us and wants us and we see that God in both the OT and NT!
That's the miracle!
The Bible managed to capture a sense of who God really is in spite of itself!!
It became apparent, through our discussion, that the "miracle" that occurred was more likely an incident where Moses went off to be alone for a bit, grumbled a little to God about the people he was travelling with and their complaints about being thirsty, and then, suddenly remembered a way to get water. Striking the stick against the rock to get water was something he would have known to do because he had been a shepherd.
It reminds me of what sometimes happens when I have misplaced something and I finally get exasperated enough to ask God where it is. Suddenly, I think of a place I hadn't looked and lo and behold, there it is!
I got several things out of tonight's Bible study...
1) When there are troubles, the best thing to do is find a way to be alone for a while and talk to God about it.
2) The answers are within and if we get quiet enough to hear God's voice inside, we;ll get them.
3) The "greats" in the Bible are likely to have heard from God exactly the way we do today.
4) Objects in the mirror may be closer than they appear (things may not have happened precisely as described). As Marcus Borg says, I take the Bible seriously but not literally!
5) Given that the Bible we read today was written by humans (all of them men), all of them influenced by their culture, who likely made mistakes and may even have created a few accounts here and there, the miracle of inspiration is that there is a message of continuity that survived all that. We see a God of love and mercy who created us and wants us and we see that God in both the OT and NT!
That's the miracle!
The Bible managed to capture a sense of who God really is in spite of itself!!
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Release of Rejection
Something unusual happened today. I was taking a walk with my son, across the dirt and under the trees, and when we got to the one we think of as the "love" tree, I didn't feel much love. I didn't feel much of anything!
Now, I've not been feeling well these past few days. But taking a walk outside almost always makes me feel better!
I realized that I was feeling sad and began to wonder why. Watching the Oscars made me sad, again, about Heath, but I was aware that that wasn't it, there was more. So I just let myself be and finished the walk. It wasn't until I was back inside that I remembered something that happened recently, an exchange with a friend that hurt my feelings and made me feel rejected!
It hadn't occurred to me when it happened that I would need to heal it, but apparently I did. So I began to work on healing it and several other incidences that have occurred in the past few months came to mind and I realized that they were presenting themselves for healing, too.
In about 15 minutes, I had healed the rejection, infused forgiveness and created the ability to connect again fully with the people who had hurt me (I did this using reiki and the Healing Codes). When I was done, that's when I realized something I think is rather important. I am used to thinking that trauma or really upsetting events lead to closing the heart. But today I realized it may happen far more frequently than that.
Each time we are rejected or hurt we react by closing the doors of our hearts. I'm sure it's an attempt to protect ourselves from being hurt again. But what that does is keep out the love that's in the air around us. From our husbands and wives, from our children, from our friends. From God or the universe. Love is all around, as the Mary Tyler Moore theme goes. But our ability to perceive it, to feel it, will be compromised to some degree, at least temporarily, if we have unhealed wounds, even small ones.
Now, I've not been feeling well these past few days. But taking a walk outside almost always makes me feel better!
I realized that I was feeling sad and began to wonder why. Watching the Oscars made me sad, again, about Heath, but I was aware that that wasn't it, there was more. So I just let myself be and finished the walk. It wasn't until I was back inside that I remembered something that happened recently, an exchange with a friend that hurt my feelings and made me feel rejected!
It hadn't occurred to me when it happened that I would need to heal it, but apparently I did. So I began to work on healing it and several other incidences that have occurred in the past few months came to mind and I realized that they were presenting themselves for healing, too.
In about 15 minutes, I had healed the rejection, infused forgiveness and created the ability to connect again fully with the people who had hurt me (I did this using reiki and the Healing Codes). When I was done, that's when I realized something I think is rather important. I am used to thinking that trauma or really upsetting events lead to closing the heart. But today I realized it may happen far more frequently than that.
Each time we are rejected or hurt we react by closing the doors of our hearts. I'm sure it's an attempt to protect ourselves from being hurt again. But what that does is keep out the love that's in the air around us. From our husbands and wives, from our children, from our friends. From God or the universe. Love is all around, as the Mary Tyler Moore theme goes. But our ability to perceive it, to feel it, will be compromised to some degree, at least temporarily, if we have unhealed wounds, even small ones.
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