Thursday, March 6, 2008

The Family Reunion

Sigh. I may have to give this next family reunion a miss!

I have several aunts on my mother's side. The sisters are very close; they visit each other several times a year and talk on the phone at least once a week (I think). They sometimes function as a unit. It's certainly true for me and I imagine true for my cousins, as well: when making big decisions, I occasionally imagine the news traveling by grapevine from one sister to another and consider the possible reactions of each.

So when I came out to my mother, I wondered what her sisters' reactions would be!

A year has gone by and one of my aunts called my mother to express her disapproval and strong feelings about my marriage to Shelly. As my mother recounts it, she doesn't like it, doesn't agree with it and doesn't want to be confronted with it.

When I was growing up, my mother sometimes valued keeping the peace more than she valued standing up for me. But this time, she did! She told her sister that she did not agree and was happy for me because I was happy in a way that I had not been before. She talked about spending time with and liking Shelly. And concluded that they would just have to agree to disagree!

I'm really grateful to have my mother's support!

And disheartened by my aunt's reaction.

I will be giving it some thought, but I don't know that I want to go to the family reunion given the way she feels.

2 comments:

LutheranChik said...

What I've found interesting in my own relationship is that my partner's family, especially the older members, accept me without reservation. I went to her family reunion last year with the expectation that we'd be treated like embarrassing oddities -- but people accepted our coupledom as a given, and we had a great time...I'd much rather go to Fellow Traveler's family reunions than my own!

Certified Healing Coach said...

Sigh. I am pretty sure there wouldn't be much acceptance at her family reunions either, if they had them.

I am currently pondering the possibility of going to my cousin's wedding without going to the reunion. I'd still have to see my aunt but hopefully, for only a short period of time.

OTOH, I may just send a gift along with my sincerest apologies.

I'm glad her family welcomes you both!!