the Smell of Rain

I came out here on my balcony to watch, listen to and smell the rain. The trees are talking to each other, too, so there's lots to experience. I love the smell of rain!

I have had a great day at home today, hanging out with my son.

Earlier, we watched "Groundhog Day". Such an interesting premise. Living the same day over and over again. I've seen the movie several times before, but had some new thoughts today.

Being able to predict and thus, prevent, the things that would happen in your neck of the woods would be a burdensome responsibility. Remember him hurrying on the way to catch the boy who was about to fall?

On the other hand, it would be a great way to try out new ways of being and moving in the world, because none of it would stick. It would all be just an experiment you could try again and again until you liked the outcome. You would be freed from the burden of doing and could focus more easily on being, or even becoming.

You could practice transparency. No one would remember anything you'd said or done!

I would love to have that kind of time with my wife. And once the do-over day was finally over, I would know her in a way I hadn't had time for before and would have honed the skill of letting her know me and learned how she would be likely to respond. Trying it again for real would be much less risky!

Of course, I expect we will come to know each other that well anyway. And I look forward to the deepening intimacy that comes with lots of time and experience and storms weathered together!

With parenting, I'm guessing that I would learn not to sweat the small stuff and I could choose day after day after day (the same day) to spend time with my son without having to worry about things like bills or making a living.

Of course, I was just saying to a friend the other day that we can all choose to stop worrying any time we want, no matter what our circumstances are. But I think a situation like that would drive the point home even more.

The rain seems to have stopped, though its fragrance lingers.

My son is inside and has just come to check on me for the fourth time in about 15 or 20 minutes.

Guess I'll head in...

A Friday Five on Vacation

From Sally, RevGalBlogPals...

It is a holiday weekend here in the UK, and the weather forecast for much of the country is not good!!! But we can still dream and so with that in mind I bring you this Friday Five.

1. Getting ready for summer, do you use the gradual tanning moisturisers ( yes gentlemen you too can answer this!!!), or are you happy to show your winter skin to the world?

Well, I have what might be called a natural tan. So when I think of preparing for summer, I think of softening the skin I haven't been showing all winter.

2.Beach, mountains or chilling by the pool, what/ where is your favourite getaway?

You know what would be wonderful? A cottage or cabin on the beach, where you could walk right to it from the house.

3.Are you a summer lover or does the long break become wearing?

I love every season except winter. My fave thing about summer is being able to wear sandals and dresses and feel the sun and breeze on my legs and arms.

4.Active holidays; hiking swimming sailing, or lazy days?

I love the "lazy, crazy hazy days of summer"!

5.Now to the important subject of food, if you are abroad do you try the local cuisine, or do you prefer to play it safe?

I've only been to Canada. In general, I am rather cautious, so I would tend to stick to what I know.

No bonus this week unless you can think one up!!!

My bonus question: are you planning to go anywhere in particular, this summer?

I'd love to go to Myrtle Beach (I have a great time every time I go), but I'm not sure if I'll be able to go or not.

Bonus #2...

Today's Healing Gift

Someone recently asked me for healing and as always, it blessed me to do it!

But not only does it feel good to do distant healing, I am almost always reminded or inspired to work on healing something in myself that I hadn't thought of or completed. I've made a change recently and change often makes me cranky!

And I was just putting up with it. I hadn't even thought about directing healing toward it specifically. I think I was trying to ignore it! And there has been so much on my mind lately~~I'm still taking in everything I experienced during the retreat~~that it was easy to shrug it off.

But thankfully, someone reminded me that I can have help with any and everything that concerns me. Even the things that make me irritable!

I feel so much better now!

A Grand Tour Friday Five

From Songbird at RevGalBlogPals...

Name five places that fall into the following categories:

1) Favorite Destination -- someplace you've visited once or often and would gladly go again

Myrtle Beach: I especially loved hanging out at Broadway at the Beach.

Del Coronado: The hotel is right on the beach and the hotel rooms are so wonderful. They don't look or feel like hotel rooms.

2) Unfavorite Destination -- someplace you wish you had never been (and why)

I've just realized that twice, when I went to Richmond, VA, I got sick while I was there and spent most of the visit not feeling well.

Coincidence? I don't know! :)

3) Fantasy Destination -- someplace to visit if cost and/or time did not matter

Europe: I think I'd want to go just about everywhere!

4) Fictional Destination -- someplace from a book or movie or other art or media form you would love to visit, although it exists only in imagination

Farmingdale, Vermont: part of the Human Interest universe, written in the Brokeback Mountain fandom.

In this story, Jack and Ennis buy a farm in Vermont and work at creating that "sweet life" that jack always wanted. If I could, I'd move there to live with them.

Waltons Mountain, Virginia: but only if I could actually be a Walton and get to live in that house :).

5) Funny Destination -- the funniest place name you've ever visited or want to visit

I have been to some places with funny names but can't remember any of them right now!

Guru Girl Weekend Training

I just completed the first of nine weekend retreat training experiences and it was wonderful, as were all the women to whom I opened my heart. The two women who led our experience and will be our teachers created a warm, welcoming, beautiful space for us to bond and begin our journey.

And Sinsinawa Mound, where I stayed, was equally beautiful and a quiet, soul-nurturing space, as well!

I have experienced some shifts already and I'm really looking forward to every part of the rest of this journey!

Here are a few highlights...

1) Walking the labyrinth and offering every concern to God

2) Seeing the "Christmas trees" and making friends with some of the other trees in the area

3) Eating some of the wonderful meals

4) Telling one of the leaders that I was amazed that there were people like her and the other leader, and having her say, "you're people like us!"

5) Finding that a few of the women, one in particular, are willing to give themselves over to laughter just like me. I had some wonderful laughs!

6) Getting here early and finishing the story I was writing

7) Getting to re-live the emergence of spring.

It's just beginning here so there was a touch of winter still and I got to enjoy drinking hot tea and wearing long sleeves and wrapping the prayer shawl around me given by one of the other women

8) Watching Mary Poppins with one of the Sisters who lives here in the Dominican Community and getting to meet and talk to some of the others.

9) Creating and having my very own medicine drum. The creating part was less-than-thrilling, to say the least!!! But now that it's all done, I'm glad to have it. I have named it Laughing Brook.

10) Singing Trish's song, "Namaste, namaste. I greet you with my heart wide open..." to the other women.

There were many other wonderful moments, including watching "Grey's Anatomy" with the first few wonderful people who arrived and "August Rush" on the last night we were here.

In case I haven't yet made it clear, I had a fantastic time!!

Happy Mother's Day! (a few days early)

My sister sent this to me the other day and I thought it so perfectly expressed the way we feel when we mother, that I wanted to share it here. I don't know who wrote it, but it's beautiful!

I'm away at a training retreat right now and I really miss my son!! This reminded me of him...

Before I was a Mom I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom - I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.

I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts. I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests. Or give shots. I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put him down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom - I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom - I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much, before I was a Mom.

It's Official!

"With wide-open hearts and joyful smiles, we delightfully welcome you to the class of 2008-2010. The gifts you offer the Circle bring a depth of goodness for us all. The wealth of life experience and the diversity of the wider group promise us opening, deepening, and an exciting journey together."

I'm going to train to be a spiritual director!!

And it starts next weekend!

There are nine weekend retreat trainings in all in addition to everything we do in between. I'm excited!

Jonathan is a little less than excited :). When I first told him, he said several times that he didn't want me to do it.

But guess what! I had told him about the weekends, but then, realized that because of kooky flight schedules, I'm actually going to have to get there a couple of days early this first time. So before I told him that, I made him hold an amethyst crystal in one hand and a rose quartz crystal in the other for 10 minutes or more.

He was SO calm when I told him! I mean, he hugged me and made a few quiet murmurings about not wanting me to go so soon, but he kept holding the crystals and basically, was fine. And has been all day.

Now I just need to figure out what I'm going to pack!

I know it will be cold there (retreat center near Iowa), but should I take my boots? *Ponders*