Monday, January 21, 2008

My Son's "Love Language"

After finally getting my car back this afternoon, my son and I took a little field trip to Barnes and Noble.

We needed to get the second book in the Little House on the Prairie series, but I thought we might hang out for a while, too, and do some reading while there of some of the other fine books in the Barnes and Noble selection. There were some great love-themed children's books for Valentine's Day!

So on the way to finding a seat, I saw a collection of Gary Smalley's "love language" books, including The Five Love Languages of Children. Once we sat down, I looked for a quiz so I could find out my son's love language. Each section described a type of language and gave suggestions about what to do, by age range, to implement that language of love in your child's life.

But there was no quiz!

So I told Jonathan I was going to ask him a few questions...

Jonathan, how do you know that Grandma loves you?
"Because she tells me and she hugs me."

How do you know your Mom (my wife) loves you?
"Because she tells me and she hugs me."

How do you know that I love you?
"You wouldn't be asking me these questions if you didn't!" Then, he hugged me and said that was another way he knew, along with my telling him. I still felt unsure, so I asked...

If I were going somewhere and leaving you with Grandma, what is the most important thing I could do before I left so you would know I loved you while I was gone?
"Hug me."

Okay, I'm sure. My son's love language is physical touch, though words of affirmation are probably important, too.

By the way, he immediately asked me the same question. As it turns out, he and I are exactly the same in our language of love. I imagine that's why we don't doubt each other's love. It felt good to feel pretty sure I know what he needs to feel secure and loved. And to know I've been giving it to him!

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