I've just come back from the crying extravaganza~~I mean, Tristan's funeral!
One more time for crying so hard it made my lips quiver and my face do funny things and my breath hitch. In fact, I experienced all the different levels of crying~~ tears that seem to come from nowhere, sliding suddenly down my face. The sudden scrunchy-face crying as it hits you again. The sniffly crying that can co-exist with laughter and fond memories. Etc.
It was a wonderful service!
There were bright colors, a puppet song, knock-knock jokes, affectionate and funny stories about Tristan, a performance by the kids of a song from Christmas that Tristan loved. It was hard to watch that because I kept thinking about where he would have stood.
I had deliberately chosen to sit by my favorite church friends, at the end of the row near the two who I could count on to cry, too. One of them hugged me at the end right after the procession, and we both stood there and cried. It helped!
I love my church!
Jonathan was sad after the service, but didn't want to talk to me about it. He kept saying he wanted to be alone, and sat by himself for a bit on the bench outside where we were all kinda hanging out as the limos filled. And one by one, people went over to him to check on him and ask if he was okay. Several "grown-ups" talked to him, and he later told me it helped.
I am glad they were there for him.
Well, I feel drained. I'd like to say more but I think I'm done. At least, for now...
Tristan, thank you for being kind to my son! I hope you are singing your heart out right now or laughing at a joke God made up just for you.